Over the years, through art and journals, I've watched myself grow and I am proud of the person that I'm developing into. I saw that in my younger years, my mind was very dark and violent. And I saw that as a positive thing. It was cool to be that way. It was even patriotic. Let's blow em up. We'd be heroes.
Through education and self-reflection I've evolved from that. I do my very best to refrain from using the word "hate" and wishing ill-will upon those who upset me as if such vengeance will make me feel better. I recognize that to do so only adds to the sting and anger of the situation. I remind myself of this and try to keep my thoughts and actions to this code I've made for myself.
It was very difficult to do so today and it has taken me several hours to battle with the hatred and rage that consumed me. I wish only for hard justice upon those responsible. I wish for peace to come swiftly to those affected. And I am grateful for those who were spared.